Yowza.

We went to Yellowstone/Montana for a week. It was beautiful. I came back completely out-of-whack, which is not. The girl in the picture is my sister, not me. 

I'm not that cool. 

When I came home, I suddenly realized there were five weeks left til departure, I had tickets to order, four papers to write, roundabouts 60% more support to raise, and health and sanity to catch. YOWZA. My counselor at the organization verbally forced me to find my planner and I started to write things down. You can't really tell in the picture, but it proves some of my productivity. 

I also met with one of my Chinese friends from last summer, who through some crazy work of the Father managed to get back here for a second summer. We hugged and caught up. AND THEN---she showed me her Book---you know, THAT Book---and said, "We are sisters now!" Friends, my heart turned into a jello puddle right then and there. I'd been waiting almost a year for that moment. YES, she is my sister-- forever!!! YESYESYESYES!!!

Thennnnn.....some screws were thrown into the plan. Somewhere in the midst of riding in the airplane, driving in the car, rodeoing buffalo, and  taming wild moose in Yellowstone I managed to screw up my back. I don't know what's wrong with it, but it's not acting normal. That's when the questions came. 

"What am I going to do about this?"

"What if it doesn't get fixed before I leave?" 

"What if something else goes wrong while I'm in China and they can't fix it there and I have to go home?" 

"Should I even go?"

Which caused a two-day halt in production. Not helpful. 

I whined at the Father, worried, stressed out, and tried to do yoga. And somewhere in the middle of that He reminded me that He's big, He has a purpose for my life, and He knows exactly what's going on, ANNND He could fix it really quick if He wanted to. And there's something called faith that I seem to have very little of.

Shoot.

So. Today. I ordered airplane tickets and wrote a paper. I talked to the Father. I crossed things off on my planner. We borrowed this machine that stretches out your back. I got a teaspoon full of a thing called "peace that passes understanding".

I am taking small, daily steps in trusting the Father and continuing on this path.

Now I need your help. IF you are reading this, you should need to be putting me on the altar right now. For getting things done, for my overall health, and for trusting that the Father knows what He's doing. Because He does--He planned it.

His will be done.

Two Scary Words

Over the last three-ish months I’ve been wrestling with two very scary words. Nope, not “homework” or “job”, but  

SUPPORT RAISING. 

I hear the word “raise” and I imagine having to lift something very huge and important, like mountains or 500 pound weights. I hear the word “support” and think of crutches or calling somebody in India to fix my computer. None of these sound nice. 

(see, they are both in pain)

Here’s what support raising actually is: asking people to pray and donate money so you can go do what God’s called you to do. That sounds nice. Here’s what some people think it is: you begging them for money so that you can go overseas and have a really fun time. And that is the dilemma I’ve been facing—feeling like the moment I say something about support everyone will think I just want their wallet.

Why is support raising hard? Because it’s not the social norm. Usually when you graduate from college, you get a job, your friends sometimes hear about it on facebook, and maybe you chat with them about it noncommittally when you run into them in Walmart. In support raising, you send out newsletters to tell people about what you’re doing, then you call them about it, and then you ask if they want to support you. You have to be involved with other people and ask them to help you. That’s hard because in this culture, it is more honorable to be self-sufficient than to ask people for help—especially lots of people, some of whom you don’t talk to that often. 

You see my dilemma/fear? It’s similar to the way I’d feel eating an ice cream cone with chopsticks while sitting on stage in a bathing suit. It’s going against the accepted social norm. 

BUT. 

It’s necessary. The expenses that need to be covered are going towards legitimate causes, like getting the TEFL certificate that I have to have to teach in China. If I DIDN’T have a team of people praying for me and cheering me on as I went, my feelings of isolation and discouragement would get in the way of doing the Father's work over there.

Sometimes I ask the Father why He doesn’t just have somebody write me a check for $15,400 and be done with it. He tells me it’s because a  team of people is needed to do this, people He will use to bless me and whom He will use me to bless. He's using me to involve others in His work--which is a gift and a privilege. And He reminds me that, in this process, He will take care of the heavy things while also being my crutch. 

We've got 80% more to go, folks.

My attempt at being self-sufficient.

Where my babies are.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is how I feel right now. 

WHY?

I KNOW WHERE MY CHINESE BABIES ARE.

(and by "babies", I mean elementary students)

Yes, friends, I have (FINALLY!!!!!) received my teaching placement for next year.

Taiyuan.

(pause for a moment while everyone reading this tries to pronounce it.) 

(Seriously. Stop trying, guys.)

"Laura, where is Taiyuan?" is the next question you ask. 

And in relation to Beijing, the only city anybody knows, it is here: 

"Tell us more, Laura," you all say after pondering the maps.

Here are some facts:

• Taiyuan is the capital of Shanxi province.
• Over 3 1/2 million people live there.
• The city flower is a chrysanthemum
• It's American sister city is Nashville (SAY WHAT???)
• It has mountains on three sides.
• You are welcome to google pictures of it.
• There are some babies in that city just WAITING for Miss Love to get there (even if they don't know it yet). 

When I get to Taiyuan, I will be in a private Chinese elementary school teaching English to students in...a...grade (we have still not been given a grade level, and I'm so ready to know how old my babies will be). I'm on a TEAM with four other girls and one mentor teacher and we all got each other's information yesterday. I might have scared all of them off with my bio because I wasn't warned what the information would be used for when I gave it (the organization asked for us to email them our hobbies...and I did), so now all of them know of my obsessions with Justin Bieber, dance parties, cookies, and coloring books without even having met me....oopsie.

Friends, I leave in less than two months. 

After spending August doing training in Beijing, I will be moving to this beautiful city and will be able to meet the babies I've already been lifting up to the Father over the last few months. 

I. AM. SO. EXCITED.

(here are some youtube videos I found)