Different and Normal

I'm wearing a coat right now. 

That would be totally normal if I were outside. 

But I'm in my own room. 

And it's only November. 

There was a time when I told myself I would never live in a city or somewhere cold. 

Hm. 

It's really unfortunate that all Chinese women are smaller than I am. Shopping for winter clothes? Disastrous and sad. 

Welcome to the land of being a XXXL and wearing a man coat. 

It's easy to think that living overseas is romantic and exciting most of the time. If I were someone at home looking at my pictures on facebook, I'd be going Wow, look at all the cool stuff she gets to do. LOOK AT THOSE CUTE LITTLE ASIAN CHILDREN. Omagosh I wish I was her. 

But let's be honest. The squatty potty was cute the first two times, but using it every day without any doors and an open window isn't really glamorous. Most buildings don't look like pagodas and Chinese restaurants don't sell spring rolls. I do my dishes in a really short sink, hang my clothes out to dry, bake my cookies in a shared toaster oven, use a string to flush my toilet, and sleep with a hat on. It can take three hours to go out and get groceries at the closest store that has cereal. I have to climb up to the sixth floor before I can crash in my room. My black Toms are now tan from the layer of dust that covers the entire city. I can't see the sky a lot of the time. I don't remember the last time I watched a television show on a TV. 

This is not meant to be a woe poor Laura take pity on her in the foreign country blog post. It's more of a reality check. 

My new normal looks a lot different than my old normal, but it's still normal. 

I don't love China. There are  aspects of it that I like and there are aspects of it that are hard.  It's taken me a while to realize that it's OK not to love China. It doesn't mean I'm not here for a reason or that the Father isn't doing wonderful things in and through me while I'm here. But LOVING it isn't a requirement. 

I adore my Chinese babies, but I do dream of having my own classroom someday. I love being silly with my single-lady teammates, but I do dream of having a family. I like red bean pastries, but I sometimes I dream about fresh, chewy chocolate-chip cookies and Marble Slab ice cream. 

One day I may have those things. 

That day is not today. 

And that's ok.

I'm learning a lot. I'm growing a lot. I love my students a lot. 

This is a great experience. 

But it's not perfect and it's not glamorous.

The Father is always working for the good of His children. Sometimes this good comes in times that are full of rest and comfort, and sometimes it comes through times that tiring and uncomfortable. It looks different for everyone, but it always leads to the same end, the same ultimate good. 

Which is looking more like Him.

"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as {He} now knows me completely."

-1 Cor. 13:12