Tender Taiyuan Christmas

 Several times during the previous months--before I came to China, even--I remember dreading Christmas. I knew homesickness would be hard this year in general, but I was certain that being away for Christmas would be killer. 

I was ready. I armed myself with ways to deal with sad thoughts and loneliness. I expected to have at least one good episode of sobbing with a weepy song playing in the background sometime during the month of December. 

You know what the Father did, though? He made me busy. Somewhere in the midst of Christmas lessons, Christmas parties, English Festival practice, shopping, and living life in the freezing cold, December flew by without time to think about missing things back home. 

You know what else? Christmas was really FUN.

On Christmas Eve, I came home from school cold and grumpy to find this: 

 

Yeah. My roommates covered my entire room in Santa Claus. He definitely watched me while I was sleeping and I even found him in my sock drawer.

That night was the school English Festival. We danced to a mash-up of What Makes You Beautiful and Call Me Maybe. I got to be a man (let's hold back on the man-jokes, please) and felt like a rock star. The performance was awesome and we were so popular, in fact, that they asked us to perform at the 6th grade performance as well and we got THREE rounds of applause.

Team Taiyuan. 

Don't call us, maybe. It could cost you a lot of money. 

Then. 

It was here. 

 Christmas.

The day started a little sad, with a song dad plays on Christmas running through my head as I woke up. But then we had breakfast, and as everyone knows, food makes everything better. 

 

 

Then Susie read us the Christmas story because you HAVE to read the Christmas story before you...you know...OPEN PRESENTS. 

 Which, of course, is what we did next.

 

Guess who got to play Santa.

 

 

Then ensued the ecstasy of Christmas present joy. 

 

Giggles, smiles, squeals of delight, and lots of China fabulous gifts. 

The rest of the day was filled with Christmas movies and fifty million chocolate crinkle cookies and being lazy in Susie's apartment. 

 Natalie and I also took some time to make Susie's facebook horse-themed while she was out spreading cheer to our Chinese co-workers. It was a smashing success.

Merry Christmas, Susie. 

Finally, I got to skype the family and open the package they sent me. Dad was out being a superhero and delivering babies, but I did get to sing Christmas carols with Mom and annoy the snot of out Audrey and Daniel.

That night before bed I read a booklet Mom had put together--copies of pages from some of my favorite Christmas story books. That was when I did cry, but only a little, and only because I have a loving family that's worth shedding tears over missing. 

It was a wonderful Christmas, though. 

A Tender Taiyuan Christmas, indeed. 

He Always Works

In case I haven't already mentioned it, here in Taiyuan we like to help out with something called Taiyuan Teens. It's kind of like a youth group/English corner for kids of all ages. It's fun because we get to hang out with kids and see other Chinese people our age--the Chinese university student volunteers. 

Basically, it's a chance to see the Father at work somewhere else in the city every other Saturday afternoon.

 

Last Saturday I was really excited about it. It was a chance to share more about the Christmas story with the kids. We had this really awesome video that we were going to show them, we were going to spark good conversation, la-de-da. 

 

Then Saturday afternoon came around and we embarked on the bus-trek-then-walk across the city facing the Siberian winds. And all I could think was 

It'scold.

It'scold.

It'sreallyreallycold.

And my attitude plummeted. 

Then we got there and found out that the power was out. Which means the elevator was out. Which meant climbing the stairs up to the 16th floor. 

My attitude continued to be swayed by the circumstances. 

But THEN we got there and had Chinese lessons with some of the volunteers. It was REALLY COOL because I'm finally starting to pick up Chinese. The random sounds are becoming words that my untrained mouth is beginning to be able to imitate. 

Anyway, I digress. 

At dinnertime, the power was still out, which meant climbing the stairs again to go get dinner. Which meant that by the time Taiyuan Teens started, I had a stomachache and couldn't stop coughing from all the stairs/food. Also, we were having Taiyuan Teens in candlelight. And in my head I was thinking How will we get across the message if we can't play the video? How is He going to work? I knew He still would because He reminded me that He could during my lessons last week (see last post). 

The message was given and then it was time to sing songs. I got picked to lead, which meant explaining all the songs ("Silent Night", "We Wish You a Merry Christmas", and "Go Tell it on the Mountain") and then singing them loud enough for everyone to understand. 

That's when I knew He was at work. 

My explanations of the song weren't perfect, but I knew the words coming out of my mouth weren't all mine. He was there, in the candlelight, in the faces of the kids, in the eyes of the boy's father who was holding a candle next to my face. He was there in the hard-to-pronounce words, in the smiles of the volunteers, and in my lungs that managed to quit coughing long enough for me to sing. He was there, working without a video or electricity or instruments. 

We sang the chorus of "Go Tell it on the Mountain" so many times that I know it's stuck in the kids' heads. They loved it. And it will carry a seed long after I leave Taiyuan. 

Once again, I saw that He works in all circumstances, regardless of attitude or plans. 

 

He works with no available hotel rooms, no cradle, and no special newborn blankets. 

He works with smelly men who look after sheep and rich men who read the stars. 

He works with attitudes and hearts that we think will never change. 

 

He always works.

My Christmas Lesson

Christmas is coming. 

Which means that this week, it was time to do our Christmas lessons. 

We had been looking forward to doing this since September because it was the chance to finally share the most important part of our lives in a legitimate way in the classroom. Not preachy, just sharing the history of Christmas. 

Which means, of course, that this week happened to be the most hectic one in the semester. 

Our team leader said that something always seems to come up around Christmas and Easter, when we are sharing these important history lessons with our classes. 

Coincidence? Hm. Maybe, maybe not. 

Anyway, this time around it was the semesterly English Festival that the students were practicing for. This meant cancelled classes, students missing from classes, co-teachers not being in classes to translate for us, people coming in and out of the classroom--you name it, the interruption happened. 

I had been expecting this, so before I started teaching the lessons I asked the Father extra hard for Hid presence to be evident in the classroom. The result? AMAZING. Seven out of eight of my classes went gloriously. The distractions kept coming, yet the kids were attentive and the teachers were engaged in translating. They loved the story, loved singing Go Tell it on the Mountain (which one of my co-teachers downloaded from me to use for herself), loved setting up a Nativity in class, and I felt awesome. Like, whoa. It was so cool. 

Then it was time to teach Class 15. 

Class 15 is the thorn-in-my-side class. Yes, I still love the babies in it. No, I don't love teaching them.

Classroom management in my situation is already tricky as it is. I'm not the Chinese teacher, which means that I can't call home, send them to an office, or give them real consequences for their behavior. I can't even verbally correct without someone to translate.

What I can do is hit or humiliate, neither of which is my style. 

And Class 15 is a push-all-your-buttons kind of class.

It started out well enough. My co-teacher translated the lesson for me, the kids were engaged, and I felt like I was flying free. Then it came time to learn the song...and suddenly my co-teacher was gone. Out the door, no warning, gone. In any other class, I'd have been able to handle it, but in about ten seconds there was a palpable switch in the atmosphere. 

Which is when all hell broke loose as it never has before in that class.

After class was over (eons and EONS later), I walked back down the stairs to the office while fighting back tears and talking to the Father. 

WHY did that happen in THIS lesson? I wanted to share you! I wanted them to hear! I want to connect with them and love them but it's NOT happening! I ASKED you to help me out!

His answer was soft. 

Those who were supposed to hear, heard. 

Which is when I was reminded that everything is His prerogative, not mine. Touching hearts is not my job, because I am not the Creator of hearts.  My job is to share love and see how far it goes. 

I told the story. 

I didn't yell or hit when they were being crazy. 

I'm sure something better could've been done in that situation, but what happened was not outside of His plan or control. 

As is everything that happens in my life.

My Random Babies

I haven't said a whole lot about my students here recently. 

Mostly this blog's been "Here's My Life and it's Funny Things and Problems BlaBlaBla". 

But I suppose my students are pretty important, since they are my job and the reason why I'm here. 

I guess I was waiting for a cohesive subject or theme to write about on them, but with Asian second graders nothing is terribly coherent or connected. So I'm going to use the random method. 

..........
 

I have eight classes. 

Class 12 and Class 16 are my smartest classes and they love me to pieces. Class 19 also loves me to pieces, but is...not my smartest class (they try really hard!). Class 15 seems to have a vendetta against me and gives me stomachaches. Class 13 mischievous but manageable. Class 18 doesn't care a whole lot about my presence. Class 14 worships the ground I walk on and Class 17 is the definition of spunky. 

I've got most of their names down by now, even though they themselves may never learn them.

Class 19 has started calling me "Miss Mommy". This trend was started by Grace and Amy, who blow me kisses in the hallway whenever I see them. 

Cooper from Class 15 will NOT stop poking my butt whenever I walk by. 

The English festival is coming up on the week of Christmas, so the classes that are performing really need to practice. A few weeks ago, one of my co-teachers asked me to write a Christmas poem for two of her classes to perform. I did it and it was...interesting (better described by the words "China fabulous"). Little did I know that she would also want me to teach the poem along with motions and the first verse and chorus of "Jingle Bells". 

(Forget about trying to explain what "bells on bobtail" are.)

Today was a snow day. My children have never been so wild and apathetic at the same time.

Class 12 and Class 16 had to make Christmas cards as a homework assignment from my Chinese co-teacher. One of the students had their parents call my co-teacher over the weekend to ask how to spell my name so they could write it on their Christmas card.

My co-teacher in Class 14 taught the students the phrase "I love ____" and asked them what they love. Dear, sweet little Burt emphatically answered, "I love Mees Love!" (And no, I was not in the room when he said this, pursuading him to say it. That means it was REAL.)

Last week, I accidentally told a student "I love you!" and she was ecstatic. I don't think I'll be able to stop myself now. 

Bill from Class 12 usually walks with me after class because my path goes by the boys' bathroom. We always have little conversations and he spends most of the time holding my arm and/or grinning up at me. 

Angel from Class 12 said, "Mees Love, you are like my seestar...you are beautiful!"

Hunter from Class 15 tried to take stuff out of my teaching bag this afternoon. The Chinese homeroom teacher (who doesn't speak much English) made him come back to me and say, "I'm sorry." He looked a small Asian puppy. I wasn't impressed.

Keeping these children from cheating on their exams is a lot like trying to pitch water out of a leaking boat. You just can't fix it by bribing them with stickers.

Class 13 mimicked me so well one day that they even coughed when I coughed. It was scary. 

Watching children act out Goldilocks and the Three Bears in class is going onto my list of Favorite Things that Happened This Year. 

During Parents' Week, when parents came in to watch any and all of my lessons, Class 13 thought it would be the opportune time to take up sticking pencils in their noses.

My favorite part of the day is walking through the hallway and being showered with hugs and children yelling "MEES LOVE! MEES LOOOVVVVVE!" 

Alyssa from Class 16 is usually very quiet and morose-looking, but I've noticed that she's an extraordinary artist. One day she was turning in a picture I had them draw in class, and as I took it, I looked her in the eye and said, "Alyssa, this is beautiful." She turned to go, but then hesitated, gave me a shy smile, and stammered, "Thank you, Mees Love." 

Drake from Class 17 wears a Harry Potter coat (yes, it says "Harry Potter" on it) and salutes me every time we run into each other. 

Justin from Class 17 is EXTRAORDINARILY loud and loves to tell me "GOOD MARNING," and "GOOD AFTANOON."

Hannah from Class 14 just needs extra love.

Tate from Class 16 forgot his name once, but now reminds me of it every time we see each other. "Mees Love! I'm Tate!"

Ben from Class 14 sits up VERY straight and VERY proud ALL the time. He does it so well, in fact, that his face sometimes turns red until I'm sure he's going to burst like an overfed hamster. 

Reese from Class 15 always knows the answer. He used to try to be too cool for me, but now he smiles when I call on him and see him in the hallway. He's awkwardly bigger than all of his classmates and has dimples when he grins. 

Sasha from Class 15 is determined to never, ever like me. 

My second favorite part of the day is leaving school during recess when all the kids are outside. It means I get MOBBED by excited second graders.

Chinese children make beautiful Christmas cards. 

..........

Yes, I could go on and on about my precious, naughty, awful, adorable, ridiculous Chinese babies, but I think you understand already. 

I love them to itty bitty pieces.

And I'm thankful my Father loves them more.

Why.

There are a lot of days here where I just want to ask WHY.

Why did they change the school schedule that way?

Why do cars drive on the sidewalk?

Why is my stomach hurting?

Why won't skype work when I most need it to?

Why don't Chinese people eat cereal and chocolate?

Why is it so hard to hear the Father's voice here?

Why do they let it get so smoggy?

Why are they burning vinegar?

Why does everything take so much more energy?

Why does is have to be dirty all the time?

Why is it so hard to go anywhere?

Why don't we have a working toaster oven?

Why don't things get fixed more quickly?

Why is "recorder" one of the vocabulary words this week?

Why do I have to teach it?

Why am I in CHINA?

Why does everyone always have to stare at me?

Why does my apartment smell like cabbage? 

Why do I feel lonely?

Why does the tv only work sometimes?

Why won't Chinese stick in my brain?

This is a place where why questions come to die. As an outsider, sometimes my questions will get answered in a way that makes sense to me, sometimes they will be answered in a way that doesn't make sense to me, and most of the time they won't be answered at all.  Why questions just aren't as important here.

But even if I was in the states, I'd probably still be asking why.

Why is gas so expensive?

Why do I have to do all this paperwork?

Why am I always so busy?

Why aren't people calling me back when I need them to?

Why is everyone getting married but me?

Why is community hard to find?

Why is so much expected of me?

Why does everyone around me care so much about STUFF?

Why are these celebrities so important?

Why do we put so much crap in our food?

Why do we take so much medicine for every little thing?

Why does everyone complain so much?

Why is it hard to sleep at night?

Why do I love Starbucks so much?

I have this idea that I'll be a lot more content if I know everything. 

Maybe that I'll have more control over my life or that I'll be able to change my circumstances. 

But is that really true? 

(I'll give you a hint. The answer's not "yes".)

We weren't made to know all the answers. 

And the real champions aren't the people who find out all of the whys.

The happiest people are the ones who only care about the necessary whys and can live with the ambiguity of not having all the other answers. 

Who can be content with not knowing everything. 

Who are satisfied knowing that the One who knows all the whys will reveal them in His good time and that He has a reason for not telling us everything up front.

In the meantime, I am learning to hand my whys over to Him and live in the knowledge that no matter what the other answers may be, I am 

eternally loved, 

forever a daughter of the King,

and 

always in His hand. 

That's all I really need to know.

ChinaGhettoFabulous Christmas

It's beginning to look a lot like 

ChinaGhettoFabulous

Christmas.....

eeeeverywhere you goooooo.....

Here in Shanxi province, Team Taiyuan is hard at work creating some happy Christmas memories. 

 It all began on Saturday (after a breakfast of pancakes, of course. Wouldn't want to spoil the weekend tradition) with a package from my friends Christina, Amy, Anna, and Lauren. The package arrived in October and I was under strict orders not to open it until December 1st. And when I did, I found enough presents so that I could open one every day until Christmas. 

Impressive? TOTALLY. Loved? SO FEELING IT.

Best care package I'll ever get.

Then Alex and I took apart/attacked the living room. Well, mostly Alex. Go, roommie, go!

Susie had a party for us that night. She was an elf. And Santa. 

 She's all I want for Christmas. 

On Sunday, we saw that the Fashion Walk got dressed up for Christmas, too...

Dangerous Santa.

Random trees!

All you could ask of a Holiday celebration. 

And then, to top it off, Gangnam Style coffee. It really doesn't get any better than that. 

By that evening, Christmas had officially thrown up all over apartment 602.

Real China Fabulous.

Then, of course, three of our team members had to get a silly cold (I'm making a reference to me, here, of course). I suppose we're not burning enough vinegar in here.

I like to see it as building an immune system of steel. 

Happy Christmas season, y'all...

...From Team Taiyuan's hearts to YOURS.