There are a lot of days here where I just want to ask WHY.
Why did they change the school schedule that way?
Why do cars drive on the sidewalk?
Why is my stomach hurting?
Why won't skype work when I most need it to?
Why don't Chinese people eat cereal and chocolate?
Why is it so hard to hear the Father's voice here?
Why do they let it get so smoggy?
Why are they burning vinegar?
Why does everything take so much more energy?
Why does is have to be dirty all the time?
Why is it so hard to go anywhere?
Why don't we have a working toaster oven?
Why don't things get fixed more quickly?
Why is "recorder" one of the vocabulary words this week?
Why do I have to teach it?
Why am I in CHINA?
Why does everyone always have to stare at me?
Why does my apartment smell like cabbage?
Why do I feel lonely?
Why does the tv only work sometimes?
Why won't Chinese stick in my brain?
This is a place where why questions come to die. As an outsider, sometimes my questions will get answered in a way that makes sense to me, sometimes they will be answered in a way that doesn't make sense to me, and most of the time they won't be answered at all. Why questions just aren't as important here.
But even if I was in the states, I'd probably still be asking why.
Why is gas so expensive?
Why do I have to do all this paperwork?
Why am I always so busy?
Why aren't people calling me back when I need them to?
Why is everyone getting married but me?
Why is community hard to find?
Why is so much expected of me?
Why does everyone around me care so much about STUFF?
Why are these celebrities so important?
Why do we put so much crap in our food?
Why do we take so much medicine for every little thing?
Why does everyone complain so much?
Why is it hard to sleep at night?
Why do I love Starbucks so much?
I have this idea that I'll be a lot more content if I know everything.
Maybe that I'll have more control over my life or that I'll be able to change my circumstances.
But is that really true?
(I'll give you a hint. The answer's not "yes".)
We weren't made to know all the answers.
And the real champions aren't the people who find out all of the whys.
The happiest people are the ones who only care about the necessary whys and can live with the ambiguity of not having all the other answers.
Who can be content with not knowing everything.
Who are satisfied knowing that the One who knows all the whys will reveal them in His good time and that He has a reason for not telling us everything up front.
In the meantime, I am learning to hand my whys over to Him and live in the knowledge that no matter what the other answers may be, I am
eternally loved,
forever a daughter of the King,
and
always in His hand.
That's all I really need to know.
Awesome post.
ReplyDeleteAlthough I was tempted to say, "You are in China of course so that you can hang out with me"... which might be a tad egocentric.
But I am really looking forward to seeing you.
We might not sleep at all.
I'm not sure if this was the best or worst idea we've ever had. :)