Impact vs. Checking Out

I thought homesickness would hit its peak right around Christmas.

By Spring semester I was sure it wouldn’t be a problem because I’d be so close to going home anyway.

During the first week of Spring semester, I thought I was right.

No problem, this will be a breeze, I thought.

But then we hit the 100-days-left mark, I ordered my plane ticket home, and suddenly I was pulled under by a tidal wave of longing to be back home.

It was like that point in a long workout video where you still have 15 minutes left and you don’t know how on earth your poor, shaking legs will be able to go on without skipping to the cool-down at the end of the video.

My legs aren’t shaking, but the temptation to “check out early” can be very strong.

Oh yes, I talked to the Father about it, received encouragement from my team and friends back home, tried to pull myself out of it. I really wanted to be all here while I’m still here.

What really pulled me up, though, was a comment from my teammate, Jenessa.

I was talking to her about how my co-teacher, Anne, who is new to the school and new to teaching in a big classroom setting, is very caring toward her students. The kind of affection she shows them is not the same as I see from some of the other teachers.

Jenessa replied, “She probably gets that from you.”

Come again?

Now, I don’t think that her caring nature comes from me, but it did give me a moment of pause. I am Anne’s first and only American co-teacher this year. Because she has never taught in a large classroom, I have more management experience than she does and she gets to watch it in practice when I teach the three classes we share.

It reminded me that I do still have an impact just by living life here. Checking out early is not an option because there are things to be done all the way until the finish line.

It’s the only time I’ll ever have with my students, my co-teachers, my friends in Taiyuan. 

And now we're down to only 91 more days. 

Yikes. 

Also, I ended up on the school bulletin board for parents week. 

That's pretty cool.