Everyone's An Expert.

Me: "I'm going to China for a year to teach English." 

Everybody else:

"Do you speak Chinese?"

"Oh! Konichiwa!"

"They eat dogs there."

"How will you teach Chinese kids if you can't speak their language?"

"Can you do karate?" 

"They eat cats there." 

"Are you good with chopsticks?"

"Watch out for the fried scorpions!" 

"My cousin's friend's aunt's sister's acquaintance's brother went there once!"

"You'll be like, fifty feet tall!" 

"My cousin's friend's aunt's sister's acquaintance's brother's wife met her husband there!" 

"What? Are you going to marry a Chinese man?"

"You can buy real made in China stuff!" 

"My cousin's friend's aunt's sister's acquaintance's brother's wife's in-laws adopted a baby from Asia once!" 

"You can get really cheap purses there." 

"Why are you going there if you can't speak Chinese?" 

"I have a friend who came over as a foreign exchange student from Korea." 

"Oh, where will you be living?" *I tell them* "Ohhh...." *blank stare*

"I guess you must like rice." 

"Don't they poop in a hole?" 

*laughs and pulls corners of eyes to make them look slanty* *makes Asian joke*

"Seriously. You don't know any Chinese?" 

"I can speak Chinese! Sum Ting Wong Wit Yu! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Yikes.